Sleep Paralysis Episode 1/2/16

I wish I could draw my sleep paralysis experiences but the experience is so hard to describe in words, much less pictures. I’ve already seen visual depictions be scoffed at for their hurried lines or incomplete portraits. When you’re teetering between wakefulness and dreaming however reality is a chaotic blur.

Sleep paralysis is like a tidal wave washed over you and you saw unimaginable terrors in that few brief second span that lasted into hours. Afterwards all you can do is shiver in the surge and wonder why you didn’t get pulled under.

This occurred last night and I’m making more of an effort now to not let days pass between reporting as things become even more indistinct as time passes. Not that I hope a pattern emerges, this is not something based at all in rationality. Nevertheless the experiences do seem to becoming more vivid and my fears mirror my concerns in real life.

I was sleeping as my parents’ house after a visit. I was sleeping in a large bed with my husband. The room was totally dark something I try to avoid due to my condition (having a tv on seems to make it far less likely to happen) but with some light coming in through the window above my head. I always sleep on my back as my back injury allows no other position. (And unfortunately a known risk factor is sleeping on your back.)

It started with a buzzing in my head. At first I was afraid I was having a seizure as I felt my body tense. I opened my eyes and knew I was having an episode (and I almost always know what is going on). I tried to calm myself and focus on my breathing, tried to remember everything I had been told makes the episode shorter.

I tried to concentrate on moving my arms or legs. Supposedly directing focus on limb movement is supposed to help. What I was rewarded with was having a hallucination of about ten arms (five on each side) raise up and wave back and forth, through the blankets my arms were beneath. They were ghostly, see-through and I remember being irritated I was almost being mocked for my efforts.

Sleep paralysis is like a tidal wave washed over you and you saw unimaginable terrors in that few brief second span that lasted into hours. Afterwards all you can do is shiver in the surge and wonder why you didn’t get pulled under.

I focused my attention next on the light switch on the far side of the room. Here is where I had my second out-of-body experience. (Apparently this is going to become an outstanding theme* in these delusions.) My conscious shot out of my body like a bullet across the room. I don’t even know how to describe it other than it felt like I was shot out of my body, over the bed, to the wall, in a few seconds. But I was unable to turn the light switch because whatever came out of my body—I wasn’t solid. I feel like I was almost made of smoke. I tried to curl my fingers around the light switch but when I wasn’t able to make contact with it I dissipated.

I awoke back in my body as rapidly as I had apparently rose out of it.Now however I was on my side. I was still stiff and struggling to breathe but I had turned on my side to face my husband.

Standing over him was a small, black, tube creature. It was rather like the shadow men I encountered during my last episode but this thing looked like a black cucumber in size and form. It also had two glowing white eyes. I tried to scream but couldn’t. I could see other tubular forms in the dark, with this thing still leering over my husband.

I summoned all my strength and was able to actually move my arms (or perhaps they were my ghostly arms) to grab the thing with the intention of strangling it.

I awoke as soon as my hand closed around its middle.

On my back still. In a cold sweat.

*[At the bottom of the page; #1 one of the six experiences was my most recent episode prior to this.]

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