Allyship is not mere “tolerance”.

Or, “sorry no cookies for you, insincere able-person.”


[Image description: A pink “your ecards” that depicts a black and white drawing of a man and a woman standing side by side on the right hand side. On the left black text reads: “P.S. I’ll tolerate you”.]

I paid $26 to renew this domain so I may as well use it to vent my spleen (because why else do we blog?).

My ire this morning was drawn to this article. The tl;dr version is “Professor condescend to a student asking for accommodations so hard she scares the student from ever contacting her again. She takes this as a victory for some reason.”


[Image description: A gif of Jim Carrey in “Liar Liar” slamming his head on a desk in a courtroom as his stunned client sits next to him.]

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Together Wendy we can live with the sadness


[Image description: A picture from “Dante’s Inferno”. It is a black and white drawing of a nude woman with a wound between her breasts floating in the air, looking back at the male figure supporting her. The male figure is partially clothed in a draping cloth and his arms are extended, as if intending to cradle the woman in it. He is looking down at her but his expression cannot be seen. They float above a desolate landscape of mountains. In the background some dark figures can be seen with obscured details. Some float above the landscape, some with wings. On the ground Dante can be seen with his guide Virgil in dark robes.]

Recently I visited some of my mother’s family, they live out of state. She has a cousin who’s had hepatitis for years, and more recently became HIV+. She told me how she rarely gets to see people, and leave the house. She told me about how she loves to read. When she reads she gets to escape for a few hours. I can say I know how she feels.

I want to send her my completed novel. If it would make her happy for a few hours it would be worth it. It would all be worth it. I want to get it to her before it’s too late for both of us.

I can feel a pinching, grinding in my lower back. The area is tender to touch, and radiates pain outwards. I’m afraid the disc has totally decayed and I’m suffering from true stenosis. That the bare bones are now sitting on nerves. I wonder if I need the surgery they’re so reluctant to give. I see my spine doctor on Friday. Along with all my other on-going health problems.

I’m so tired.

I have a lessened workload this quarter as I have two online courses. I am going to y to finish posting “The Ring and the Bridle” in the next few months. I want it finished for whatever happens next.

I have my pay-out from my contribution to “Strange California”. With it I’d like to hire an editor, but I don’t even know where to start. The manuscript is about 125,000 words. I don’t want to low ball, but I do have a set limit of spending as my only income is my student stipend. I’m not asking for a MFA, but I would like to see a resume.

If you’re looking for work feel free to contact me at my email: and we can discuss pricing and a contract.

White Women, Please Take a Seat.


[Image description: A white woman with short red hair in a red dress seated on a desk chair. She as her hands crossed over her chest and is looking at the camera with a small smirk on her face.]

…And I am a white woman. A disabled one, a neurodivergent one, a bisexual one, but still, a white woman. And more over an author. I am not a YA author, honestly the drama in this genre has scared me off ever wanting to write for it, but like most aspiring authors I had my love affair with it and I don’t begrudge adults to read whatever genre they want.

So why am I speaking up? Well because people have made the point they need white allies to speak up as well. White women control the industry. And unfortunately white people tend to only listen to other white people, and especially when they’re racist. Whether they realize this or not.

I’m not going to say “racism is bad” because, honestly, the people making the trouble don’t see themselves as racist.

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Analysis of Me Before You: Chp. 4


[Image description: A bingo card entitled “Cripple Trope Bingo” with boxes filled with the following from the top left corner to right and then down each row: “Dumped after disability”, “Disability as excuse for jerkassery”, “ablesplaining”, “Caregiver uncomfortable with tasks”, Free space, “Disability is miserable with no regard of ableism”, “ableist speculation”, “Disabled person pushes away friends because of shame”, and finally “The disabled don’t have sex”.]

Moyes was trying very hard to fill out her “Cripple Trope” bingo card with this chapter. I want to say it’s impossible that she could jampack another chapter with so many clichés, but I may be surprised.

This review is very long. It’s over 2,700 words because Chapter Four was long with a lot to unpack.

Again, if you’re new please check out the intro and check out the tag for earlier installments.

Trigger warning: towards the end of this review (it’s marked there too) there is a very upsetting conversation about wishing to die over being disabled.

Chapter Four starts off with a description of Lou and Will falling into a routine as two weeks have passed since the last chapter. Except even after all this time Lou is still an ableist asshat.

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Analysis of MBY: Chapter Two

Or everyone in this is an ableist asshat.


[Image description: A person in a suit with their body bent to literally stick their head up their ass.]

[Trigger warning: I could be this on the entire series really as Me Before You is a hot ableist mess but in particular I will talk about suicide in this installment. Tread carefully.]

In light of what happened in Orlando, I’ve decided in this installment I will address why Me Before You is a disingenuous portrayal of disability in terms of representation (also). I believe representation is the greatest way to fight bigotry. Despite all the strides forward we’ve made there is still a deep-rooted fear of homosexuality in my country and many countries. We need more visibility if we are to ever overcome.

And that includes portraying disabled queer people and disabled people of color who are queer or not.

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Analysis of MBY: Chapter One


[Image description: A picture of a waving red flag with the text over it:Red Flag Warning Issued]

This entire chapter was pretty much red flag after red flag.

Thank god these chapters are so short, because my energy is limited. I can’t guarantee any sort of schedule however because of my health. I have good days and bad days, and good weeks and bad weeks. Unfortunately you’ll just have to keep tuning back in to see when I post updates. You can follow my twitter or tumblr too for updates. (/plug)

If you’re new please consult my intro.

The first chapter starts two years after the prologue and focuses on Lou, the female lead. It takes the book six pages to say what I can in one sentence: Lou lost her job at a café that she really enjoyed working at because the owner sold it. There, and no need for a two page interlude re-playing the lay-off for no needed reason. This book is already 405 pages in my edition, why is there so much superfluous information? There was clearly no need to pad the word count.

Nevertheless the point of this review is to address the ableism, not my armchair editing (I am literally sitting in an armchair; it’s the only kind of chair I can really sit comfortably in). Apparently Lou’s grandfather lives with the family and appears to have dementia though it hasn’t been said yet (and may never be) why he exactly needs care. He doesn’t appear verbal and apparently needs Lou’s mother to care for him. The family is apparently treading water financially so Lou losing her job does have a significant economic consequence.

So you think she be a little bit more cooperative with the job center.

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